My mom and I
Yes, my mother is on Facebook. Lucky for me, I’m no longer a teenager who’s embarrassed for the world to know who my mom is (remember when you asked your mom to drop you off down the block? Yeah, me too). I adore my mother and I think she’s the funniest, smartest, prettiest, most amazing woman I know and will ever have the privilege of knowing. Maybe it’s because I’m out of college and am in my late 20’s, but I don’t mind being friends with my mom on Facebook. There’s even a website, Oh Crap. My Parents Joined Facebook, where you can post embarrassing or ridiculous Facebook status’ and messages that mom or dad wrote on your wall.
However, there are pro’s and con’s of having a mom (or any parent) on Facebook…
Pro’s:
- You can see who’s flirting with her
- You can stalk your mom’s profile and observe her activities by her updated Facebook status.
- You can leave her a wall post if you forget to call her (and she’ll love it!)
- She will share your accomplishments and brag about you to her friends.
Con’s:
- You can see who’s flirting with her
- She will track your every step
- If your mother is quick to share embarrassing stories about you to anyone who will listen, she will share them on your wall.
- If you’re friends are always saying your mom is hot, chances are they’ll be stalking her profile and looking at her pictures (creepy!)
- If your mom is technology illiterate, she will harass you and probably your friends too.
- If your mom is the type of person that claims they read what is in front of them, but pulls the door when it clearly says PUSH, you might want to keep her away.
But in all seriousness, whether you want to be friends with your mom or not, you should know how to protect your page. Evaluate how you use Facebook, review your account privacy settings and remember that you need to OPT IN for privacy. If you who don’t want mom to see your every post and picture, here are some settings to check now…
1. Connecting on Facebook (Account > Privacy Settings > Connecting on Facebook)
- Facebook requires that some information be visible to all Facebook members. But there is a lot of information that you can show to some users and hide from others. It is separated from the settings for connecting and means sharing information about you such as your photos, gender, age, education, etc. These settings also determine how people can find you on Facebook, so if you set everything to the strictest setting, people may have a hard time finding you.
2. Sharing on Facebook (Account > Privacy Settings > Sharing on Facebook)
- Make sure you decide for yourself what you want to share and who you want to share it with. Facebook provides an easy way for you…you can share with Everyone, Friends of Friends, or Friends. If you’re using lists (see #6 below) you can customize the settings and set a certain type of content to be visible to the people on some of your lists, but invisible to others.
- By using “Preview My Profile” you can see how your profile appears to other users.
3. Existing Photos and Albums (Account > Privacy Settings > Sharing on Facebook > Customize Settings > Edit album privacy for existing photos)
- There might be photos that you don’t’ want to share with everyone. Go through your albums and change the privacy setting for each album, including Wall Photos.
4. Tagging in Photos (Privacy settings > Customize Settings)
- If you’re tired of tracking all the photos or videos that your friends tag you in, change your privacy settings so only you can tag yourself.
5. Friends checking you in to places (Privacy settings > Customize Settings)
- If you don’t want a friend to give away your whereabouts, disable this function under the “Things others share” section. That way you will be able to avoid friends telling the world where you are. It often goes unnoticed, but is important.
6. Friend’s list (Friends > Edit Friends > Create List)
- You might not want to share every detail of your life with all of the people you’re friends with on Facebook. Create lists such as family members, close friends, business acquaintances, etc. and fine tune the details you share with each list. It can be tedious if you start creating lists after you have hundreds of friends, but once you set them up, it’s easy to add new friends to particular lists.
And here are more complex settings to check…the ones I find a little scary.
7. Apps you use (Account > Privacy Settings > Apps and Websites > Apps You Use)
- Third-party apps may have asked for permission to access your information. It’s surprising how much data some apps ask to access. If you aren’t using an app or don’t remember what it is, remove it. And review permissions you give each individual app.
8. Info accessible through your friends (Account > Privacy Settings > Apps and Websites > Info accessible through your friends)
- Your profile information might not be as secure as you think. You’re still sharing content and info with a group of people even if your privacy settings are strict. However, what you share with others doesn’t mean it stops there. It depends on their privacy settings (scary huh?!) Apps and Websites your friends use might be able to get into your data. Set what information is available to apps and websites if your friends use them and control what personal details your friends can share.
9. Instant Personalization (Privacy Settings > Apps and Websites > Instant Personalization)
- This lets third-party websites personalize your experience. It can be nice, but it also allows access to your personal data which can be not so nice. Control what information about you is shared by shutting down Instant Personalization and manually signing in to the sites you’re OK sharing information with. Opt-out by clicking on “no thanks” or disable it by leaving the check-box before “Enable instant personalization on partner websites” unchecked.
10. Search Engines (Privacy Settings > Account Settings)
- When you are being searched for on a search engine, that person may get a preview of your public profile. You can hide yourself from search engines by turning off the public search settings. That way your Facebook profile isn’t accessible by a Google search.
Facebook was originally created for college students, but its landscape has drastically changed. Many more are finding their grandparents, aunts, uncles, and parents on Facebook with them. Spend a few minutes looking at Facebook and you’ll see that it’s not uncommon for the millions of users to post photos of themselves at last night’s happy hour or dressed in less-than-conservative attire. If your mom is on Facebook, are you going to upload a picture of yourself demonstrating beer pong or ice luge skills? What about tagging yourself in a picture doing a keg stand or the skin baring outfit you wore for a night out with your friends? Probably not. Our mom being on Facebook is a mixed blessing. It makes us behave and keeps us from posting things we wouldn’t want her to see. Chances are if you don’t want mom to see it, you don’t want your boss or potential employer’s to see it either. Think twice the next time you post something…your mom could see it.
